i've failed

i tried to make you proud.
i went out of my way for you to love me again.
i tried to show you that our family IS worth it.
i tried to help you.

i tried to love you again.
and again.
and, again.
each time i tried, you just pushed me further away.

i mended hearts, and you broke them.
i gave you honesty, and you gave me lies.
i woke up with a smile, i went to bed in tears.
i tried to love you again, after all these years.

i guess you'll never try and be my dad.