I had a bit of a scare this morning. My Mom phoned me around noon to tell me that my older brother had been in an accident. My heart jumped to my throat. Luckily, he didn't get hurt. As he was driving on the highway, his front and back right tires popped, and he lost control of the vehicle. His car did a 360, and then he fell into a ditch. He's pretty traumatized (obviously) and I feel so horrible for him. I'm just a MILLION times grateful that nothing had happened to him. God is definitely watching over him! He is everything to me, my entire family is. I don't think he really knows how much I look up to him. He protects me from all the bad things in life, and even though sometimes it can be unfair, I appreciate that he does that. He has taught me so many things in life. I really want to hear his voice over the phone, but he hasn't been home; either at work or out with his buds. I'll have to hunt him down tomorrow! Wish I could send him a hug... better yet just hug him myself... I miss my family a lot.
Goes to show that you can never take anything for granted.
Another topic. Love! It's almost Valentines Day, so whatevs.
You know, the first time you ever fall in love, no other love will ever be the same. It's really weird. Even if you never see that person again, you'll meet people who have the same physical attributes, or actions as that first love. It's like a curse or something. And then it's worse when you ONLY fall for people who remind you of that ONE person! I haaate it. I've had to turn down THREE guys just this YEAR because I'm just not attracted to them at all! And they're so nice... fuck I feel like a bitch. One of them even wrote me a song... omg... was that disastrous... another one of them lives in Australia and he's trying to keep in touch with me... that just doesn't work...
I think I'm going to play it safe and be single for V-Day! I'm not ready for all this stuff... I mean, love is great and all.. but I just haven't found that one guy who is meant for me.
But that one person that I have fallen for, I won't ever forget how great he was. He's probably the perfect representation of how guys SHOULD be.
Life is crazy.
And another topic. My friend says that he is really weird, so people think he's random... that makes me laugh, because I must be the most STRANGEST person on the planet! The things I say and do sometimes even shock me... I guess I've just accepted that's who I am. I'm a real child where ever I go. Not initally, but when people REALLY get to know me, the real child comes out! I used to think it was weird... most people love it... and then there are those who think I'm a basket-head... I'm with the second crowd!
I hate awkward situations and I try to avoid them at almost any cost. My resolution this year was to purposely throw myself at those awkward opportunities and learn from them... it's not easy. For example, meeting new people... I get scared by catty women, and egocentric males... but lately, it hasn't been too bad. I can carry out conversations more efficiently... I think I'm finally growing up into an (dare I say it) adult? hahaha... I make myself chuckle. Isn't that "weird" hahaha.... oh dear.
I'm going to bed! : ) What a random blog.
xo
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