Three days are left until the end of February, and the beginning of March. Time is quickly slipping away, and there is nothing I can do to slow it down.
That's the thing. You never realize how important time is until it's run away from you. My biggest fear is waking up one morning and regretting all the time I wasted on unimportant things. I don't think I'm living to my full potential. There are days where I don't do anything at all, and it should not be like that. Instead I should make use of my time.
But sometimes I'm just much too sad to do anything. Something is holding me back from everything I want to live for. Actually, I don't even know where to begin, really. Everything is in shambles, in a huge mess of knots, and I don't know which one to loosen first; the more time I waste walking around them, the tighter they become.
Only God can help me now. I'm losing focus inside myself. I wish I could tell someone, anyone, about the things that are eating away within me. But what would I tell them, when I myself, do not know the exact cause of my problems?
I tried being alone, I tried being around others. Nothing really helps. All I can do is just hope to feel better, and wait for all these emotions to subside.
On top of it all, I've been having extreme cases of insomnia. Over the last 5 days, I've been falling asleep around 5-6am. I'm fatigued beyond belief, but I just can't sleep. The stress is literally killing me. I hardly feel like eating, seeing people, or even just having fun. I don't feel like I deserve it.
All I have for now is guilt. Only when this guilt leaves me will I finally be able to live.
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