string theory.

"it's worth more this time."
acting so sure
becoming carelessly forgetful
[ b u t y o u k n o w]
alarms are shouting
buzzing up your spine
wrapping around your mind
re-organizing time
wishing had never even started

becoming carefully aware.

but it's the holidays.

there isn't much thought
that is being put into anything


something is missing

and i know what it is.

there's all kinds of waves.

once you board your boat of dreams
keep rowing.
don't look back towards the shore.
if you're lost at sea,
pick a direction, and go.
if there's a storm,
keep holding on.

all together.

passing with flying colors.
and waving my flag in victory.

cherished:
memories that bleed through fading colours.
they're reminders of why sacrifice is a huge part of life, and that it isn't necessarily something to be viewed in a negative, painful manner.
the connotation of sacrifice is completely in the eyes of the beholder.

a new friend.

into the atmosphere.

these hands have held this
much too tightly
but at last, i've released my grip
and let it fly away
into something i would have never expected
or have seen
and my eyes have glazed over
but this time not with wrong
but with so much right.

h <3

another bright light.

you made me feel so appreciated
in that first instant
and gave me the strength
to take off all the bandages
and show the world
who i really am.

there was so much to say
so many stories we wanted to share
so many things we wanted to understand
and it was so wonderful
to feel like this
that i didn't know what to do.

to meet a shooting star
that burns so bright
should be shared with the world
because we could really use
more people who are like you.

xo

same thoughts. same people. different bodies.

"It's funny though, this whole relationship thing. It's funny because I know I'd be hella good at it."
- P Dhillon. We should be siblings.

i love my java.

Want a great latte? We`ll get you hooked up.

www.krccoffee.com

pale blue chariot.

sunny skies have eaten all the clouds
and from the corner of my eye
i saw you watching me
with a smile so pure.
i died.

hrkml

"Nobody is asleep on earth. Nobody, nobody."

"[...]Life is not a dream. Careful! Careful! Careful!
We fall down the stairs in order to eat the moist earth
or we climb to the knife edge of the snow with
the voices of the dead
dahlias.
But forgetfulness does not exist, dreams do not exist;
flesh exists. Kisses tie our mouths
in a thicket of new veins,
and whoever his pain pains will feel that pain forever
and whoever is afraid of death will carry it on his shoulders[...]"

Fredrico Lorca: City That Does Not Sleep

gravity.

“Relationships,” not love affairs, are what [contemporary people] have. Love suggests something wonderful, exciting, positive and firmly seated in the passions. A relationship is gray, amorphous, suggestive of a project, without a given content, and tentative. You work at a relationship, whereas love takes care of itself. In a relationship, the difficulties come first, and there is a search for common grounds. Love presents illusions of perfection to the imagination and is forgetful to all the natural fissures in human connection… Selves, of course, have no relation to anything but themselves, and this is why “communication” is their problem… Selves want to be wholes, but have lately also taking to longing to be parts. This is the reason why conversation about relationships remains so vacuous, abstract, and unprogramatic, with its whole content stored in a bottle labeled “commitment.” It is also why there is so much talk about phenomena like “bonding.” In the absence of any connectedness in their souls, human beings seek reassurance in fruitless analogy to mechanisms found in brutes." - Allan Bloom

Thanks to Tyler J. Brown



.

hey, limbo. I hate you.

I want everything, and I want it now!
No joke. That is how I feel. And when I'm not getting what I think I should have, at that moment, I pout. And pout. And when I realize it's not going to happen right then, I accept defeat, and forget about it... and then it happens!
So I'm preaching patience. Even though patience royally sucks, it works. And no, being in limbo isn't fun, but it can be! Like, how I decided to make sushi today. It wasn't the greaaatest. But it was better than screaming at the sky... waiting for things to happen!
lawl!

They both spoke the same language.

"The wind approached the boy and touched his face. It knew of the boy's talks with the desert, because the winds know everything. They blow across the world without a birthplace, and with no place to die."
- the alchemist

regina spektor - Us (Video)

if i could marry any lady in the world... i'd marry her!

Mother Mother on QTV

this band is so AMAZING

pouring out.

i never thought i'd ever see
anything as beautiful as you
to feel so loved
in days so few
and every word that wants to be said
can't find the way out from these lips
so i'll sit back quietly
and let us carry on in the world
because there are places we have to be
and things we need to see

but believe me
when I say I miss you
i really, really do.

arms tonight.

I fell in your arms tonight
I fell hard in your arms tonight,
it was nice
I died in your arms tonight
I slipped through into the afterlife,
it was nice
White lies in your arms tonight
I lost sight in your arms tonight,
it was nice
And hey, you, don't you think it's kinda cute
that I [I] died [died] right inside your arms tonight
that I'm fine even after I have died
because it was in your arms I died.

mother mother

rhythmic.

lighter and lighter.

maybe, someday, one day.

things i miss about nanaimz:
our refusal to grow up
the dynamic spirit of my friends
spontaniety
endless jam sessions
the ocean
contagious smiles
curiosity
amazing latte's
the constant feeling of love and hope renewed

xo

Ronald Jenkees - Throwing Fire

color right off the page.

This whole week has proven to be the most challenging and motivating time of my life. It's funny when you finally come out of your dazed lifestyle and see the world from a whole new perspective. Gratuity flows from your inner being creating change in ways you'd never thought possible.
Since graduating, I have finally accepted that I had matured very, very slowly. I allowed myself to become terribly self-destructive, further pulling myself from all the positive potential that could have turned my world right side up.
Thankfully though the universe made things much better, and brought amazing people into my life that allowed me to embrace who I am, instead of hiding in the shadows.
Of course there are the good days, and the bad days. Battling the bad days is just another test of strength that continues to lift me higher up.
Being back home is painfully lonely, but I came back with a vision of prosperity and you have to suffer in order to receive the fruits of life. Plus, there is beauty in everyday, and every moment, which can make going through change a little easier.
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

up on the bridge.

we watched the train head out, and vanish from our sight
the light upon this bridge seems no lonelier than I
oh, i'm going nowhere
oh, i'm going nowhere

don't ever stop.

cherish everything in your life.
the good, the bad, the sweet, the sour.
because things always turn around
if you keep your heart pumping.

jump inside yourself.

i've learned so much
but there's still so much yet to learn.

floating.

everyone is talking
but all i can see are their lips moving.

i want to try.

there is so much i want,
and so much i feel i can do without
but when it happens
i feel like it shouldn't be lost...

run for your life.

yessss

become a language of love .

"Whenever there is love you will be a king. And then you are free — because it is a question of love; it does not depend on her. Whenever there is love you will be a king; whenever there is not love you will be a beggar. It is love that gives you the glory. Yes, the love has come through her window; it can come through any other window. It can simply shower on you without anybody. It simply needs understanding — that it is love, not the person. The person is instrumental. Then you are not imprisoning the person. Love cannot be imprisoned and there is no need to imprison it. Love is your song — you can sing it any time. It is like breathing. Nobody is going to take it away from you; nobody can take it away from you."

Osho

my bed is still a mess.

dear,
i had a feeling come around
when your kisses had died
and that little part of me
that was going crazy inside
said, just let it be

i froze for you
and this cold fall air
brought you back round
with words so broken
so much left unspoken
that i wonder if your heart
is even in the right place.

2 degrees.

get an education, make money, make a future
but once all the works gone
and the money's dried up
that we know there is no time but now
so let's explore together
and see what life's really about.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 ...

circles, rotations.

caffeine, marijuana, happiness, love
but this is a high like no other
chance after chance i pushed it away
until at last i got cornered by what makes me, me.
some things aren't so bad

dreams aren't easily disposable.

do i stay and break the hearts of some
or do i go back and break my own.

trust me.

it may be absurd
or unrealistic
but this is a dream i have to pursue
because it's the very essense of my life
i hope that maybe, one day
we'll see eye to eye
because i love you all so much
and i wish you were a part of it too.

this.

music.
music.
music.
music.
music.

how much longer?

how many more ties will i break
what am i not seeing.

(exploding)

Existentialism is often discussed as if it's a philosophy of despair.
But I think the truth is just the opposite.
Sartre once interviewed said he never really felt a day of despair in his life.
But one thing that comes out from reading these guys...is not a sense of anguish about life so much as...
a real kind of exuberance of feeling on top of it.
It's like your life is yours to create.
I've read the post modernists with some interest, even admiration.
But when I read them, I always have this awful nagging feeling..that something absolutely essential is getting left out.
The more that you talk about a person as a social construction... or as a confluence of forces...
or as fragmented or marginalized,
what you do is you open up a whole new world of excuses.
And when Sartre talks about responsibility,
he's not talking about something abstract.
He's not talking about the kind of self or soul that theologians would argue about.
It's something very concrete. It's you and me talking.
Making decisions. Doing things and taking the consequences.
It might be true that there are six billion people in the world and counting.
Nevertheless, what you do makes a difference.
It makes a difference, first of all, in material terms.
Makes a difference to other people and it sets an example.
In short, I think the message here is...
that we should never simply write ourselves off...
and see ourselves as the victim of various forces.
It's always our decision who we are.
Creation seems to come out of imperfection.
It seems to come out of a striving and a frustration.
And this is where I think language came from.
I mean, it came from our desire to transcend our isolation...
and have some sort of connection with one another.
And it had to be easy when it was just simple survival.
Like, you know, "water." We came up with a sound for that.
Or, "Saber-toothed tiger right behind you." We came up with a sound for that.
But when it gets really interesting, I think,
is when we use that same system of symbols to communicate...
all the abstract and intangible things that we're experiencing.
What is, like, frustration? Or what is anger or love?
When I say "love,"
the sound comes out of my mouth...
and it hits the other person's ear,
travels through this Byzantine conduit in their brain,
you know, through their memories of love or lack of love,
and they register what I'm saying and say yes, they understand.
But how do I know they understand? Because words are inert.
They're just symbols. They're dead, you know?
And so much of our experience is intangible.
So much of what we perceive cannot be expressed. It's unspeakable.
And yet, you know, when we communicate with one another,
and we--
we feel that we have connected,
and we think that we're understood,
I think we have a feeling of almost spiritual communion.
And that feeling might be transient, but I think it's what we live for.

from a friend.

the sky is grey, the sand is grey, and the ocean is grey. i feel right at
home in this stunning monochrome, alone in my way. i smoke and i drink and
every time i blink i have a tiny dream. but as bad as i am i'm proud of the
fact that i'm worse than i seem. what kind of paradise am i looking for? i've
got everything i want and still i want more. maybe some tiny shiny thing will
wash up on the shore. you walk through my walls like a ghost on tv. you
penetrate me and my little pink heart is on its little brown raft floating out
to sea. and what can i say but i'm wired this way and you're wired to me, and
what can i do but wallow in you unintentionally? what kind of paradise am i
looking for? i've got everything i want and still i want more. maybe some tiny
shiny key will wash up on the shore. regretfully, i guess i've got three
simple things to say. why me? why this now? why this way? overtone's ringing,
undertow's pulling away under a sky that is grey on sand that is grey by an
ocean that's grey. what kind of paradise am i looking for? i've got everything
i want and still i want more. maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the
shore.

ani difranco - grey

translucent.

no more holds
and i won't sit stationary
because you thought i was blind
but now i can see
right through you.

"you sell your soul for minimum wage, but now they get your dreams for free."

lately, all my dreams have been of my worst fears.
maybe I should be a bit more optimistic and stop this "what if" crap?
it's only if I want to start living!

passive.

i know its lame
but it would be nice
to have someone
to curl up with
and go to sleep next to
without saying a word.

dug it.

are you moving much too fast?
and the good times that just don't last
if you're always on the go
make an angel in the snow
and freeze

do you feel like you're stuck in time?
forever waiting on that line
if nothing ever moves
put that needle to the groove
and sing

is it a dream keeping you awake?
is it the stillness that makes you shake?
if you need to know for sure
what's on the ocean floor
just sink

do you like things the way they seem?
or are you looking behind the scenes?
well, if you gotta know
what it takes to make it so
just believe

are there dark parts to your mind?
hidden secrets left behind
where no one ever goes
but everybody knows
it's alright

do you get dizzy on the ground?
it must be something going around
what blows us here today
will blow us all away
the breeze.

dr. dog - the breeze - fate

spacebar.

it's a big world
and my cup is running empty
past paint streaked walls
and missed phone calls
i'm stirring silently on the side
there's little respect left here
and there's no room to forgive
after i stepped over one more boundary
and now i know
oh god, i know
it's about time to end
and start.

can't talk, food in my mouth.

wahoo!
moving on up in the world (except I will always suck at car washing..)

1-2 crush on you.

WANT.

i'm alive.

i kept my heart in a vault
told myself i'd keep it there forever
and just when i had it all together
you came along
so i turned all my shields on
but something kept pulling us closer
i kept wanting to run back
but my feet kept pressing on
this game that we kept playing
eventually gave out
i never knew that i could once again
see such beauty
my mind kept shouting
try it, it's worth it
and you didn't prove me wrong
the world isn't as cold
as i had once thought it was
and you showed that to me
every second we had together

thanks for bringing me back to life

i'll make a flag.

bones of shale and shells
waves of rhythmic hearts beat
trying to reach the shore
tides and ripples of desire
sweeping us by under currents
how far will we go beneath
the surface of the sea.

h.

great expectations.

blinking and stoned
rain in your hair
you only smoke 'cause it's something to share
singing bring on the night
to have and to hold
the sodium light turning silver to gold

Yosemitebear Mountain Giant Double Rainbow 1-8-10

this. made. my. day.
lol!

doors.

i'm burrowing, and opening doors that i think make sense
so many doors, so little time

The Envy Corps - Story Problem

i love how they filmed this with mxc! so funny.

blank canvas.

it would be so much easier if i had all the pieces to my jig-saw collection of life right in front me. to be free to see which pieces (paths, choices) fits best with the rest.
because it's all askew (and of course it would be).
yep, call me impatient.

intelligence pons on intelligence.

it's not enough for silence to fill in all the little cracks. it's just a reminder of all that is us, that sometimes, nothing really has to be said. and if we should speak, what is it exactly that we should say. it probably wasn't in the right place at the right time anyway. nothing would have changed. nothing else, however probable, could have been created.
and, in a constant dilemma of character, we spin from individual to individual, trying to glue pieces of ourselves with the pieces of another in our lifelong striving to become whole. this is what our generation sees. not the confines of religion, or culture. but instead, of what makes each and everyone of us unique.
give us knowledge, and we'll give you love.

h.

concrete.

i'm floating
and trying to absorb
the beauty of everything
and everyone.
you and i, we're not concrete
and it wouldn't make sense if we,
or anyone,
were.

blow out.

too far, too fast.

spare change anyone?

even in moments of being found, something is lost. we're down on our knees, searching for a significance of some sort that will enable us to push on. nothing is solid, but is instead ever changing, and nothing is worth holding onto forever, because inevitably everything is, once again, lost.

h

grace.

“All flowers in time bend towards the sun, I know you say there's no one for you, but here is one.” -- Jeff Buckley

don't tell your kids...

paisley please.

The summer has finally arrived here in Nanaimo! We've had two glorious days of sunshine and many more yet to come. you can smell the ocean and feel the salt on your skin.
after a crazy month, my life is finally starting to gel together. i've landed two jobs (finally) as a waitress at this classy italian restaurant, and a cashier at thrifty foods. i can't wait to get some extra cash. there are a few records downtown i'm DYING to buy, along with some new funky outfits. i found this beautiful summer dress, and it's been on hold forever! but soon it will be miiine :)
today i have to practice my tunes, go downtown, and then work (4-8) which is perfect because then i'll still have some time to enjoy the weather. i also need to get in touch with the dean at PAVI to figure out what I need to enroll.
ashers and i are also trying to make our plans for our london trip next year! hopefully the spewing volcano won't cause too many problems. but there will always be ways to get around it.

well i better go get some errands done and organize a bit.

hrkml

i can't turn back now!

you know, it's all really not that bad. the big changes are all part of some plan, and all I can do now is just keep going. talk about one crazy, unpredictable week.
I'm so scared, but so excited.

water boots.

i picked up national geographic's latest issue on water and couldn't put it down. this one photo, taken from the magazine, captures just how much we rely on this resource. I mean, we're made of it.

i'm still talking about elbow.

Yeah, they really are badass.
And I too would be smiling that big if I was surrounded by a full on orchestra. Guy, I want your life!

stitches of fire.

Our weathered broken bones
Rattle with each heart beat
What is it you want to say
Before it all crumbles

I remember when you ripped open the sky
And let the stars rain down
Shining over heavy heads
Bursting with magnetic light

This time I’lltake your side
Just promise youll be mine
In threads of woven flesh
And stitches of fire

H_______rk___m__l

we still believe in love, so fuck you.

lately, I've immersed myself in music by a band named Elbow. i stumbled across their music last year by chance, and am still in the process of exploring their records.
their one song, Fugitive Motel, captured me instantly!
their creativity with distortion, orchestral decorations, and electronic effects creates a story-like sound.
check them out if you can!

"...I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul." Nelson Mandela (Invictus)

I do believe in fate; however, I also believe in the power of choice.

don't smoke in bed.

one of my faves, ms Nina Simone.

turn on the light.

my head's going back and forth
from shaking the world off
and these ripped up floor boards
is when i broke through the chains

i'll fly through that window
and hold your smiling face
illuminating the heavy night
with nothing else but warm sunlight

___----H.

eyepennies.

"The tortured artist myth is rampant. People paint me as some kind of black witchcraft-practising devil from hell, that I have to be twisted and dark to do what I am doing. It's a load of rubbish". -pj harvey.

00100011100010010000100100100111100101010100

I don't know where I'm going
half aware of where I've been
with whistles shouting alarm calls
from the mistakes I've stepped upon
remedy the noise of panic
with the calls of angels
for soon my friends
it will be long enough
h___ark_a__ma l

late september, october, november, december

siiiick track: My Beautiful Leah - PJ Harvey

preserved in passion.

a memento from a stranger opened the door to another me. tatters, tears and stitches ignited a spark of ambition and trust. two minds set their brilliance free into a final destination unknown. their words were spoken through their art portraying the "now" of their lives. the destination, held by friendship, proved exciting and exhilarating. the past merged with the present, creating the future.

har k am al

theyoutharestartingtochange.

timbre.

slammed doors
voices inching through floors
buzzing mercilessly round my head
and i can't take no more

pry my fingers
from the lost souls
tearing apart knowledge
seeking shelter from the storm

so goodnight
so goodnight

its in the frequency.

somewhere down the line, all things will be complete.

life in technicolor.

past all this warm fuzz
i see something beautiful

in five.

through vacant empty hands
you hold what's left of you
and in time, sometime
some way will see you through

so break free from your container
that holds nothing but remorse
and grab what's ahead of you
and spread your lovely chorus

of life.

-harkamal.

all my life.

All my life I’ve been searching for something
Something never comes, never leads to nothing
Nothing satisfies, but I’m getting close
Closer to the prize at the end of the rope

holes.

every rip, every tear, every dent
let it shine, shine through.

5:38

pulled out from the roots and thrown out, we speed through life like birds crossing the highway.

anyone can play guitar.

destiny, destiny protect me from the world
destiny, hold my hand protect me from the world
here we are with our running and confusion
and i don't see no confusion anywhere

tick tock.

you never realize how special something is until it's gone.

tiny jars.

and i do my best impression of weightlessness, now too
and i might be wrong, i might be wrong, i might be wrong
but honey i believed i could
float away daringly
i'm just the same but brand new to you

i fucking love her.

St. Vincent (Anne Clark)

Philip K. Dick

"Reality, to me, is not something that you perceive, but something you make. You create it more rapidly than it creates you."

we're all the same.

Last night, I picked up a distraught, scared, shaken woman from downtown. At first, I drove by her, questioning whether or not I should stop for her. After driving for a bit, my guilty mind set in, and I turned around to go get her.
As I approached her, I noticed she was shaking terribly, and had tears streaming down her face. I rolled down my window and asked her if she needed a ride.
Relief washed over her face, and she quickly said yes.
As she was fastening her seatbelt, I asked her if everything was alright. She was shaking terribly from the cold, so I cranked up the heat. Her voice was trembling as she told me her story of her abusive boyfriend, and how a decision she made quickly ruined her life. She never got into details, just worded everything to the point.
I didn't want to intrude further into her life, but having a general gist of the situation, told her that everything will be okay, and that things can turn themselves around if you just believe.
She calmed down, turned to me and said "thank you". I was concerned about her safety, and asked if she had a safe place to go. She said yes, but I had doubts in my mind.
We arrived to her destination shortly, and as she was exiting the vehicle, she turned to me and said,"Thank you for the ride, and for being so kind." I made sure she was inside her house before leaving, and she waved goodbye.
After spending a short time with Tracy, I realized that all anyone could ask for in life, is to feel like a person.

reading week.

i have songwriting fever!

the brutal, honest, simple truth.

i have to clean up my act.
no more tears, no more excuses.

happy v-day.

spins.

another day.

the secret.

"...trust the universe."

WHAT AM I.

Bahahahha! such a gem: CLICK HERE.

MBF. city fun .

mbf.... and those pajamas.

the weekend in vancouver was such a blast. i really needed some time out of nanaimo with some sweet peeps and new peeps!
on saturday, liz, ty, syd and i grabbed the 10am ferry into van. we then were greeted by my charming cousin paul, and were dropped off on granville st. tyler taught us a thing or two about great coffee, and took us to the best coffee shop in the city! Elysian is the name, and it really is the best coffee i've ever had. ty, who also works at a coffee shop, kindled a friendship with the owner, and then we received a twenty minute speech about various coffee's, undertones, equipment, etc. we also tried a sample of kenyan coffee. the experience now makes me shake my head in shame at tim's and buck's. seriously, if you ever get a chance to try a real thick latte with no sugar... do it. it will change your life!
yeah i got excited. now that we had gotten our buzz on (literally), we eyed the fresh slice restaurant, and demolished slices of pizza for a buck sixty! so goood. we then grabbed the bus to ubc.
tyler introduced us to his INCREDIBLY good looking friend brandon, who gave us a little tour of the campus. man, if i went to school in ubc i would never get any work done. i skip so much school here... i would probably never get anything accomplished there. ubc is super pretty compared to nanz bonanz, but we do have a sweeter jazz program fo sho!
the boys left us to study and be lame, so liz and i went to the pit pub to meet up with mbf and his crew! we got there as soon as the rehearsal was ending, so we stood idly by and watched everyone.
SO MANY GLARES FROM VARIOUS BIOTCHES. like holy. if eyes were daggers...
the rehearsal had ended, and then i finally got to meet mbf himselllf! nicest person ever! and i coudln't get enough of his red cardigan!
liz already knew the lyrics to the songs, so syd and i had to learn them two hours before the show. some chick named angie was the woman's conductor... but she doesn't know how to teach at all! it was super frustrating...
so to calm our nerves we all order pitchers of beer! the boys show up, and we all start drinking. by now the pub is packed with students and non-students, and we're stoked! we put on our white outfits, and headed up on stage.
we drunkenly sang!! ahaha. after the last song, we all had to run into thep it and get people to jump around! it was aweeesome.
jackie and paul met up with us after the performance to join us in some drinking festivities. we got our last minute drinks at the campus pub place... and then went to mcdonalds for a snack attack... ughhh such a bad idea!
we then followed will up to his place for a gathering. while people were still up and drinking, i was way too tired, so i decided to pass out on his comfy couch in front of the fireplace... so comfy!
the next day we went for breaky with will and his friend ross downstairs, then met up with syd, and went on a tour of vancouver. the olympics stuff is up and running, so we decided to have our own little photo op with the set ups.
we got home around ten at night... soooo tired!
next weekend we get to go back to van and party with paul for the olympics! ee! i am so stoked!

february blues.

where is the sunshine.

ordinary world.

but i won't cry for yesterday
there's an ordinary world
somehow i have to find
and as i try to make my way
to the ordinary world
i will learn to survive.
- duran duran

victoria.

So, the trip to Victoria was amazing. Not only did I meet other musicians, I got the opportunity to talk to some very talented writers and artists.
The party was held for Colin's good friend Nick, who is an accomplished writer, and was held to celebrate the fact that his novel is being edited by a very prestigious publishing company.
We also were kind of celebrating for Colin too. If all goes well, he will be working for a producer that has worked with Billy Talent, Coldplay, Avril Lavigne, and a few other famous bands. I am so excited for him.
A good buddy of his brought over a keg to start the night, and people began to enter in swarms. There were quite a few musicians, so Colin and I had to wait until 1am to play our tunes. We played Blue Bossa, My Funny Valentine, My Romance and Lover Man (and no it wasn't themed... we just picked at random). We then invited Nick up to sing "I'm Just a Gigalo". It was probably the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
I also met a classical pianist who was absolutely mind-blowing. She played a Cantata by Bach, and a piece created by a canadian composer. She and I talked about school and how she too went through the phase of not playing anything for a few years. She had a ton of great advice and has motivated me to pick up the flute again.
And Margooo! Awee, another really cool person. Her personality floooored me. Very kind hearted and humble, and soooo fun.

Colin and I got back today around 3 to run the university stairs with some friends. We ran them three times, and I thought I was going to die. And now he just helped me work out my complex-meter keyboarding test I have to do tomorrow. Why do I leave things at the last minute? Ugh.

So that's my little recap. I'm going to beeeed.

don't stop me now.

today must have been one of the laziest days i've had in months. aside from going to the store to pick up some dish soap and oranges, i've wasted the day by watching futurama, playing grand theft auto, and hanging out with colin.
the next few weeks are about to get much busier. on the 30th, colin and i are heading to victoria to play a gig. we've encorporated a few standard jazz tunes, and a silly tune "i'm a just a gigalo" (yup, defs colin's pick). elizabeth is coming along as well, and we're going to meet a group of writers, musicians and artists. following the gig will be drinks on the house, and a whole lot of partying!
i am also really excited about the band that gillian and i are putting together. gillian and i have really similar taste in music, so we've started compiling ideas together to get a feel of where things could go. it's been really cool using the looping pedal to layer vocal harmonies, percussion, piano and guitar. we meet every tuesday, and it's always an amazing time.
on feb 6th, liz and i are heading to vancouver to sing backup vocals for Michael Bernard Fitzgerald. michael is a rising musician, and his music sounds kinda like jason mraz. check him out: http://www.michaelbernardfitzgerald.com/ it will be a great opportunity to build connections and kinda see how the music biz works. and following this will be partying! wahoo.
annnd aside from all the fun stuff is keyboard, theory, and computers homework. i've skipped a few classes this past week to listen to new albums and create new stuff... meh. music school is too structured anyway.
maybe this week i should attend all my classes...

i am who i am.

fake light from the sun (fiction plane)

fake light from the sun
it's driving me mad
it's poisoned our good name

somebody said
the sky's turning red
no one can be trusted

i want you to know that the sky's full of wires

fake light from the sun
it's all in my mind
your nature is so kind
this water tastes bitter
when i have been fooled
your absence is so cruel

pfx.

i died and came back to life today after watching the Pink Floyd Experience live.
so beautiful. and when Hey You came on, i forgot where i was!
such a great night.

(recurring theme)

slipped through my fingers.

karma.

don't judge me, you could be me in another life, in another set of circumstances.

new choices.

re-organizing my life.

lost at sea.

i don't think i've ever felt so alone.

a thousand years.

a thousand years, a thousand more,
a thousand times a million doors to eternity
i may have lived a thousand lives, a thousand times
an endless turning stairway climbs
to a tower of souls
if it takes another thousand years, a thousand wars,
the towers rise to numberless floors in space
i could shed another million tears, a millions breaths,
a million names but only one truth to face

life and times.

severed ties. broken strings.
and a heart that won't beat.

fragile as the moment.

if you could see the world
through my eyes
you would see everything
just as it's meant to be.