when the floor turns to ice.

i try to breathe, but my lungs are heavy
i try to get warm, but shivers are crawling up my spine
i try to eat, but my stomach would rather grumble
i want to drink, but water won't cut it.

earl, the lobster.

i wonder what it is.
a break in the surface
resonating back and forth
absorbing and expelling
the creatures within come to life
swaying like tree branches to this beat.

a creation of what makes us.

progressions.

i can't stop blogging.

correction.

i can't stop fidgeting. i've been banging away on the piano since this morning. my heart is pounding like a jackhammer.
i can feel this, and i know it's all gonna work.
one gift i owe the lord for is the feeling of passion.

can't shake these vibes.

it's inescapable
unbreakable
tangible
and so, so fragile

it's dropped a billion times, yet it's still intact...
somehow.

calandar girl.

if i am lost for a day, try to find me
but if i don't come back then i won't look behind me
all of those things that i thought were so easy
just got harder and harder each day

december is darkest, in june there's the light
but this empty bedroom won't make anything right
i ran to the landing, a friend i forgot to send home
who waits up for me all through the night

calandar girl, who's in love with the world, stay alive
calandar girl, who's in love with the world, stay alive

i dreamed i was dying as i so often do
but when i awoke i was sure it was true
i ran to the window, through my head to the sky
and said whoever is up there, please don't let me die

but i can't live forever, i can't always be
one day i'll descend on a beach by the sea
the pages keep turning, i'll mark off each day with a cross
and i'll laugh about all that we've lost

calandar girl, who is lost to the world, stay alive
calandar girl, who is lost to the world, stay alive

january, february, march and then may, i'm alive
june, july, august, september, october, i'm alive
november, december, yah all through the winter, i'm alive

i'm alive.

(self-aware).

With age comes wisdom, and wisdom allows the evolution of man.

I've been in Cranbrook for four months now, and my time here is almost done. I leave back for Nanaimo this Sunday, and although I'll be sad to leave my good friends and family behind, I'll take the best memories and life-lessons back with me.

I've been unbelievably blessed in my life. I wish I had known this at an earlier age, but too often as teenagers we become so immersed in the smallest things, and stress about things that, now, seem so miniscule.

Everyone has their heart-breaking stories. Everyone has their good qualities, and their flaws. This summer has shown me just how selfish I have been, and how I'm trying SO hard to shut that little voice up inside... a little voice called ego.

Overcoming it is so hard, and so broad, that i've realized a quick victory is impossible, but can be obtained with patience. In reality, no one is flawless. By viewing everyone as equal - neither higher than them, and no lower than me, i've realized so much beauty in each and every individual. This view point has helped me meet some of the most amazing people. Everyday I receive so many gifts that I can no longer classify them as large or small.... they're instead, precious.

I love all my friends, and my family, so much. I love everyone who has been there for me in the past, and I'll love those that await me in my future. I love them as much as I love music... it changes in many different ways, but all music is beautiful. Regardless of what circumstance.