the right words at the right time.

"It's a misery peculiar to would be writers. Your theme is good, as are your sentences. Your characters are so ruddy with life they practically need birth certificates. The plot you've mapped out for them is grand, simple and gripping. You've done your research, gathering the facts - historical, social, climatic, sulinary - that will give your story its feel of authenticity. The dialogue zips along, crackling with tension. The descriptions burst with colour, contrast and telling detail. Really, your story can only be great. But it all adds up to nothing. In spite of the obvious, shining promise of it, there comes a moment when you realize that the whisper that has been pestering you all along from the back of your mind is speaking the flat, awful truth: it won't work. An element is missing, that spark that brings to life a real story, regardless of whether the history or the food is right. Your story is emotionally dead, that the crux of it. The discovery is something soul-destroying, I tell you. It leaves you with an aching hunger."
-- The Life of Pi

every day is a bit more clearer.

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
-- Henry Thoreau

new beats.

pick apart
the pieces of your heart
and let me peer in
let me in
where only your thoughts have been
let me occupy your mind
as you do mine

sucked in.

you speak so sweet
with words so delicate
like the glass i hope that will never shatter

rain go away.

i really need some stability in my life.
these last two weeks have been ridiculous. a crazy roommate, slashed tires, and i get to go through the joy of moving into a new place again. and then i move again in january. fuck.
juries are right around the corner, i have a combo performance next week, final exams are stacking up, concert review is due next thurs, i still need to find a job, and oh yeah, fix my tires. there goes my money for food for the rest of this month. ugh.

i'm still so lucky to have some of the most amazing people in the program help me out.
oh and my friend, jamal the pipe.

i love music.

in the long run, it will be worth it.

"it's that liberating feeling of independance that makes me appreciate all the fine things in life. i can give myself to people 100% and yet still retain who i originally am. why would i want to change that to 50%."

waking life!

so, i finally watched this movie that liz was telling me about.
it's called waking life, and it's changed my perception on a lot of things.

it's based on lucid dreams, and how there is a theory that you are living in a constant state of dream, and that one day you just won't be able to wake from your dream...

it's just super intense.

on another note, 3 weeks of school left until finals and juries. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

okay i can't finish this blog.

the first step.

it's that feeling of being next to you
that makes the planets spin faster.

sweet nothings.

you make me feel brand new.

tunnel and sky collide.

today feels like a new day.

then the first bullet was shot.

i try not to let the feelings i have for you show on my face.
they always win.

i'm a sore loser.

i enjoy monty python and fudgee-o's.

hello hectic november...
it's the last month of classes before exams/juries and i'm feeling the pressure.

recap:
so about two nights ago i moved into my new place. it's a cozy little house on lambert st., and my room is actually fully furnished this time. the ceiling of my room is painted of blue skies and clouds, and the walls are a baby blue. i'm living with troy and jason for the moment, but i'm sure in january i'll move into colin's place.

last weekend i travelled down to vancouver to visit my parents and buy my car. it took us three days to find the right one, and i'm happy with our purchase. it's a '95 blue toyota camry that's been rebuilt from head to toe. we purchased it from a sweet man who spent many hours into fixing up the car. he installed a new engine, spoiler, took care of the leather interior, fixed up the brakes and timing belt, and added a few little decorative touches. it's pretty cool! i can't hear the motor at all when i drive it, and it's smooth.

seeing my mother was much needed. she always cheers me up, she's my sunshine. i can't wait to see her pretty face again in december.

okay, now deadlines. thursday is my "so what" solo, next thursday my term paper for music history is due, i have to practice the jury tunes with those in my combo, and then prepare for final exams which will be here sooner than ever. i mean, it's already november. time's flying by so fast. aside from that i have to find a job asap so i can afford everything.

god, this will be interesting.