on the move.

july is coming to a close, and august is already coming into view... so, so fast.
it's going to be a good month, and a sad one, because tiana is leaving early for edmonton to attend ballet school. i'm really excited for her though, because she's going to grow so much. she's going to fly sky high (as if she isn't flying high already).

on thursday i'm heading out with tiana's family for edmonton. i guess they're just finishing up the deal for their new house, and tiana and i will get to spend some quality girl time. we're going to take a trip to the west edmonton mall (i haven't been there in aaages) and shop a bit. i need a new bikini, and i'm sure they'll have some awesome ones waiting for me.

as for the nanaimo situation, i feel a lot better now that i've got some roommates! sarah-jane said she'd love to take me in. it's on harewood, just a few streets down from where i lived last year, on pine street. it's a pretty good neighbourhood. it's about a ten minute walk to uni, and a five minute walk to paul, dustin and suzy's place! it's going to be a greaaat year. the price is awesome too. i got majorly ripped off by my last tenant, but this is really nice.

my transportation to nanaimo also worked out wonderfully. nick is moving to victoria on the first of september, so his family offered to take me along. plus all my stuff is already at elizabeth's, so i only need to take my clothes and music supplies. woo woo

this month is going to go by super fast. can't afford to hold my breath!
i'd be lying if i said i wasn't excited.

x

horrible taste.

i put the blame on everything
when really i should just blame myself
because everything is just a product
of what i had feared.

i don't want this good feeling.

i'll mash it up
paint it black and blue
tear it up
burn it
and then toss it into a corner.

it's still there.

i'll watch from the sidelines.

it's when i fell into you.

some times i feel the fade in... and then the fade out.
captured within the suns rays and the sparks of cold water
the buzzing madness of those who attempt to contain the meteoric abundance of life
the only amount you can carry is nothing more than two hand fulls.

i need a tow truck.

this isn't courage.

i'm slowly dragging myself through all this
and i just want to stop.

feather fingers.

when you don't care, it's easy to lose track

of everything.

and so she said.

it's losing its beauty.

it's all styrofoam.

and now it seems like even this has lost its taste.

staring at the wall.

i've once again returned to my sanctuary
no one can hurt me here, or tell me what to do
deliberate whether i'm right or wrong
weak or strong
i'd rather be there than return to this town of make-believe
where everyone is under someone else's feet
you're constantly searching for all your flaws
covering them up from all their, "ha ha's"
and now you're accepted
so congratulations for being who you aren't
and living something that continues to tear you apart.

it was full a minute ago.

...within one second it became empty.

where did it go.

go ahead and take it
it's there for the taking
give, give, giving
it's a wonderful feeling
but no can can hear me
can't hear the sound of me breathing
i'm a pillar for you to lean on
a pillar for you to lean on
beneath the surface i'm breaking
cracking and shaking.

who am i

the reflection in the mirror
curtains flowing through and through
an open green pasture
one singular tree
i am attached
the world is spinning so fast
that nothing no longer makes sense.

called your bluff.

everything in my life is rush, rush, rush! with all honesty, i love it.
to summarize everything in the last week...
my cousins came over, stayed for 7 days, then left.
got hooked up with a very independent job.
sorted out all the odds and ends.
connections.
good-byes and hello's.

i've broken away from the internet and it's a good feeling. it's a time sucker, and i don't have any time to waste.

let bygones be bygones.